November Turdieth! Actually, today is Black November Turdieth, the biggest shopping day of the year!

Nah, in reality, today is "moron of the year day." I got all your votes and the results are in!
Regis and Kelly's stupid asses won! Congrats to them on being crowned morons.

It was a toss up between them and George Bush but Regis and Kelly have actually said more stupid, superficial, moronic things... so they won. What does this have to do with anything at all? I have no idea. All I know is that those numbnut, a-holes don't deserve their own tv show, and neither does George Bush. Actually Gorge Bush could probably have a pretty funny tv show, like a huntin' or oil drillin' show. Or it could be like a reality show where George Bush travels cross country in an RV with a completely incompatible co-star, like... like... ahhh... It would have to be someone who was of another ethnicity, preferably gay, perhaps Hindu, vegan and female. I'm not sure who that would be but it would be one heck of a good show fo sho. Maybe when they got across country, to Texas of course, George could show her how to drill some erl, real proper like. Then they could go out and celebrate with a steak dinner at Western Sizzlin'. The end.

Next song!

Today's regular programming has been cancelled and will never be shown again.

The real reason I'm writing is this... I have a new Effort Inc T-Shirt for sale featuring Go Left rapid from the Green River Narrows. The words at the top read Paddle Video Photo, which is exatly what is going on in the photo. It's a photo of me filming Brian Miller paddling. Here's what it looks like:

Click Here to visit the Effort.tv web store where you can purchase the shirt.

The T-Shirt design relates the business and workings of Effort Inc and was inspired by the below photo sequence, which has a story, more photos and video to go along with it. That is all in a previous blog post .


Good day,

Spencer Cooke, Effort.tv

November twentyturd - Today is Effort.tv's annual photo issue. Please enjoy some of my favorite photos from the past year.

Click the image below to visit the '05-'06 Photo Annual


Enter The Donkey is to have its Southwestern premiere in Nevada on December 9th.

Hosted by good buddy Colin Kemp, of Jackson Kayak, at the Patagonia distribution center
6-11 PM and it's a pot luck dinner, byob (for infants that means bring your own breast milk)
For questions please contact colin@jacksonkayak.com
Thanks Colin!

NEWS from h2o audio - Two new products: On 12/01 they will start shipping the waterproof housing for the 2nd generation iPod Nano as well as a new, less expensive Nano housing, the Outdoor Series.
Click the logo to visit h2o audio's web site

Here is the all new h2o audio Outdoor Series iPod Nano housing. It very easily fits both the 1st and 2nd generation iPod Nanos. The retail price on this little jewel is $39.95, available at your finer outdoor shopping venues such as Diamond Brand Outdoors, Great Outdoor Provision Company, NOC and more.


Some key points to know about the h2o audio Outdoor Series iPod Nano housing:
1) It is a rugged case that includes belt clip and sport armband for $ 39.99 MSRP
2) Fits BOTH nano models (1st and 2nd gen.)
3) For outdoor enthusiasts who are not necessarily looking to use their iPod in the water, but want to take it into the elements, this is the product for them.
4) The Outdoor Series housing is not meant for in-water use like the h2o audio series, waterproof housings. Instead it is more of a light duty housing, suitable for backpacking, camping, cycling, running or everyday iPod use. We'll call it element resistant rather than waterproof or water resistant.
5) The Outdoor Series housing does have the patented Commander™ Scroll Wheel function, allowing its user to control every function of the iPod from the outside of the case.

6) To install your iPod Nano into the housing simply slide the locking mechanisms on the sides of the case into the upward, open position. Lift the easy to open lid.


7) If using a 1st gen iPod Nano you will lift and remove the plastic shim provided in the case. If using a 2nd gen iPod Nano, which is thinner, leave the plastic shim in place. Then, lay the ipod face up in the case.


8) Then close the case making sure the silicone seal is in place and that it is free of debris. Take a look at the bottom of the housing. You will see two silicone caps, one for the iPod Dock connector or charger and one for a headphone jack.


9) Upon opening these caps you will see that you are unable to allow liquid or debris to make contact with these areas while the iPod is exposed, though the remainder of the iPod is still fully protected. You may connect your charger, dock connector and/or headphone jack.


10) Begin charging and/or listening to your iPod while it is in the Outdoor Series housing. You may close either one of the silicone caps while using the other if you like.


11) The Outdoor Series housing comes with a belt clip allowing the housing to be attached almost anywhere. It also comes with a neoprene, sport armband.


12) The Outdoor Series housing fits nicely to an aftermarket, bicycle, handlebar mount.


As far as paddling goes, I definitely wouldn't paddle with this housing, but I think the Outdoor Series housing has an application for paddlers. That application is hiking. There are plenty of rivers where you have to hike for quite sometime, either to or from the water, where a shock and element resistant housing would be great but you don't really need the waterproof, submersible housing. Here in the Southeast the Linville, Toxaway, Raven Fork, Big Creek and Horsepasture are just a few examples of runs that have hikes long enough to listen to your iPod.
Click the logo to visit h2o audio's web site

Coming on November Turdieth is the Panama Surf Kayak Adventure with Drew Hayes and Ray Cotton. It should be really funny and entertaining.

Happy Turkey Sack,

Spencer Cooke, Effort Inc.

November Turdteenth News - Kayak Action Figures!

Now available from Effort.tv, your favorite rafting action figures from the DVD, "Enter The Donkey"

We are proud to announce our first five of a complete line of action figure toys based on characters from the fictitious love story, "Enter the Donkey." Buy them all now before supplies run out! Your kids will love them. They make great Thanksgiving or St Patrick's Day presents. Each figure even comes with it's own signature model boat.

Characters include:

Caleb Coaplen - Enter The Donkey's most conflicted and complex character. A must have.


Chris Gragtmans - Buy this special edition Gragtmans while our inventory lasts. This character has just run the 50 foot Elk River Falls, and it even surfs gigantic waves!


The Joey Hall figure is a perfect morale booster for kids who get picked on a great deal. A couple days with the Joey figure and you'll automatically absorb the behavior of a male donkey, guaranteed.


FELIPE is spelled in upper case letters to imply the importance of the professional paddler nickname. Get the FELIPE action figure and earn a coupon towards the FELIPE Sit-On-Top action figure, available soon.


Spencer Cooke's action figure makes a popular toilet ornament. Float it right beside your own floater!


Click below to buy your very own Enter The Donkey action figure today.


Enter The Donkey action figure owners will receive a free membership to the ETD fan club. Members will receive exclusive advice from professional paddlers like Heehaw Jones of Enter The Donkey fame. Here's a special tip from Heehaw himself:

"How To Become A Professional Kayaker"
1. Always refer to yourself as a pro kayaker in front of other kayakers. If you own a video or still camera you may automatically qualify as a professional photographer due to your pro kayaking status.
2. Have a business card that titles you as a pro kayaker and whatever else you claim to be professional at.
3. Make sure and have a web site that has your name in the URL. Example: www.HeehawJones.com
4. Make sure to say "keepin' it real" in reference to what you're doing for the sport of kayaking, especially if you're caucasian.
5. Give yourself a nickname or have people call you by your initials. "Yo, what's up KC?" "Just keepin' it real HJ! Did you see the size of that Donkey Choke I just did?"
6. Describe exceptional moves you did in your kayak as "huge," "big," "biggest I've ever seen," "incredible" or "awesome."
7. Refer to yourself in the third person, always, in particular on your web site, internet forums, magazine articles and videos. "KC likes paddling with HJ because HJ respects the skills of KC. Did you see the huge aerial KC just did?"
8. Always train. Pro kayakers don't paddle for fun. If they paddle, regardless of when or where, it's TRAINING. Some pro paddlers go through an entire career without ever competing but you can rest assured that they are fully trained.
9. Have a toy action figure in your likeness.
10. Drink lots of red bull.

Do all this stuff and you might qualify for pro kayaker status. If you fail you should probably quit kayaking.

Learn more about Enter The Donkey and buy the DVD at www.EnterTheDonkey.com"

November Turd News at Effort.tv

My wife and I got a brand new donkey on Nov 1st, Mason Spencer Cooke. We love him very much and hope to take him kayaking one day if he wants to go.


I don't think I'll make it to the Green race tomorrow but I wish all my friends good luck and a good time. See you on the water soon.

Later,

Spencer Cooke, Effort.tv

Welcome to Effort.tv news on October Turdieth,

Who said this news had to be about kayaking. That's boring. New topic. Tomorrow is Halloween, therefore I recommend two horror moives to rent for this event:

1) "Shaun of the Dead" Released in 2004

I could watch this movie time and time again and not get sick of it. It is very British and very funny. Imagine a downright kneeslapping, heehawwing "Dawn of The Dead" and this is it. You may even recognize two of the most popular cast members from "The Office" (British version), Dawn and Tim.
Here's a link to the official UK "Shaun of the Dead" site. It has a hilarious video game you can play where you throw vinyl records at zombies, like in the movie. I played this thing for like 15 minutes before I got tired of it. Actually I didn't get tired of it. Currently I don't own a copy of this movie but I plan to.

2) "Army of Darkness" Released in 1992, starring Bruce Campbell

I couldn't really find any good sites about Army of Darkness but here's one that has a bunch of stuff about all the Evil Dead movies, which Army of Darkness is one of. geocities.com/evildeadpage
I do own this movie on VHS and when it came out on DVD I bought that too. Needless to say I've seen it a handful of times. My wife is not too fond of this flick but believe me it's completely and totally hilarious and rondiculous. You just can't get sick of it. Bruce Campbell plays the character, Ash, who is an S-Mart (like Kmart) employee who gets sucked into this medieval dimension where the "Deadites" are taking over. He uses his modern smarts, and smartassness, to defeat the Deadites and win the respect of the common folk.

I know I said two movies but I just thought of another one.
3) "Bubba Ho-Tep" Released in 2002, also starring Bruce Campbell, of Evil Dead/Army of Darkness fame.

In this movie Bruce plays the part of Elvis Presley, old and decrepit and in a nursing home. Nobody believes that he is actually Elvis. The "horror" part of this movie is a mummy that invades the nursing home. It's pretty funny. I own this DVD as well and am particularly keen on it, not because it is really funny and Bruce Campbell plays a great role, but because two great friends of mine were involved in the making of this film. One of my best and dearest friends, who I've known since elementary school, Avery Taylor, was a picture model in the film. That means that he is in a photograph in the film. Another friend, Danny Vecchione, who I met in high school and went to art school with at VCU in Richmond VA, was the production designer on this film. That means he designed the set. Originally I bought the DVD just to support my friends and was pleasantly surprised with how much I enjoyed the movie.
The official web site is bubbahotep.com

All this horror movie talks brings us full circle, back to kayaking. Why? Because the sequel to "Enter The Donkey"...

Released in 2006 by Effort Inc, Catalyst Media and Deadman Productions might bear the title, "Night of the Living Donkeys." Right now it's just something we're tossing around the office but maybe, just maybe we'll call it that. We will need some zombies to fly out of the water at the bottom of rapids and at play spots. We're trying to work out that minor detail.

Speaking of horror videos, I have updated the video gallery archives on Effort.tv. Somehow I forgot to do that for the past five months but it's all there now. Here's the page effort.tv/videogallerykayakarchives.htm including a brand new video I just put up on the Linville Gorge.


Further, Effort.tv will be featuring a Panama surf kayaking trip with Ray Cotton and Drew Hayes later in November. Ray and Drew left two days ago for a twelve day surf adventure. The surf report was excellent and they took Effort Inc's video camera and telephoto lens. They'll be doing a full blog report like we did about our
Ecuador surf trips, complete with photos, video and without a doubt, moronic behavior.

See you on the turd of November,

Spencer Cooke, Effort.tv

ps. Here's my Halloween costume. I'm dressed as Chubbs from Happy Gilmore. Pictured at the end of my fingers is Travis McDowell (co-star of Enter The Donkey. You might notice him licking something.),who is dressed as a librarian.

October twenty-turd News

The Mustache contest was featured in Paddler Magazine's Kayak Magazine this summer. Way to go Steve Althaus!

Oddly though, Effort.tv was not credited with any of it. Haha! To see all the work that Effort.tv did not do on this event please visit the Mustache Link!

On a similar note Eugene Buchanan, formerly of Paddler Magazine, has resigned and started his own publication to be released in Spring '07 called Paddling Life. It is to be a bi-monthly magazine and they are doing a bi-annual Whitewater Life. Here's the link to their site. Paddling Life


I added a new dealer profile for Old Town Outfitters. They are based in Rock Hill, SC, close to Charlotte, NC. Rock Hill is like if you're heading from Charlotte towards Carowinds. Basically Old Town Outfitters is like Carowinds but more fun. Here's the link to their profile Old Town Outfitters and a photo of some of the dudes who work there.


Recently I traveled to Georgia on a sales trip. Not too many signs make me pull over and take a picture but this one did. Now that is a place that I would not go to have my eyes checked. Nothing more needs to be said.


Afterwards we had birthday cake and Yonton gave me a high-five.

The END.

Green River Video Project Completed - $10,000 donated to the Green River Access Fund

It's that special time of year! No, not Halloween, not Christmas, not Flag Day! Green Race Day is rapidly approaching and love is in the air! With all the excitement abound I figured it would be cool to share something special.

Click HERE to watch the video.

Here are the three of us, Mr Greenhagen, Brian and myself, working on our first day of shooting, just below Go Left.

photo courtesty of Abhay Patel

This spring, a long time paddling friend of mine, Brian Miller, called me up with an exciting proposition, to get paid for filming him on the Green River Narrows for a couple days. He didn't have to twist my arm much to say the least. Only after Brian explained the full scope of the project did I truly feel like this was a job that meant more than just paddling and filming, two things I do all the time. A recent article in Canoe & Kayak details the project and features comments from Brian MIller. To preface that article I wanted to briefly explain the project. Zimmer, Inc is the largest orthopedic device company in the world. They were looking for exciting, compelling, whitewater video footage with which to metaphorically relate the sales of their products. They used comparisons of all classes of whitewater with orthopedic sales to produce a motivational video for their employees worldwide. The video features none other than former C1 and OC1 National and World Champion, Brian Miller. Brian is a real ham in front of the camera and he's smooth like butter on the water, making him the perfect man for this job. Through Brian's connections in his profession as a Pharmaceutical Rep he was able to connect the three of us, Zimmer, himself and myself, to execute this project. An outdoor lover himself, Mr. Richard Greenhagen from Zimmer, was so inspried by our precious paddling resourse that he compassionately donated $10,000 to the Green River Access Fund in memory of Daniel DeLaVergne.
Click here to read the full article at Canoe & Kayak .

We express gratitude to our great pal, Ray Cotton, for carrying my still camera down the river and shooting some shots for us. As well, Brian's friend, Abhay Patel, hiked into the Narrows with Mr Richard Greenhagen and took photos. Thanks again and again to Mr Greenhagen himself for the generous donation to the Green River fund. I am very proud and honored to have been involved in such a meaningful project. It's not often that I get such an opportunity.

I'm filming atop the rock as Brian Goes Left.

Photo taken by Ray Cotton

Regarding the video: What you will download here is not the actual video produced by Zimmer, Inc, which was the purpose of this project to begin with. This is simply a highlight reel of all the filming we did in three full days on the water. Footage includes helmet-cam and every other angle we could get of those Green River rapids we all love so much. In an effort to give a realistic portrayal of the paddling that actually went on, the video shows the good lines and the crashes, including a crash of mine at Nutcracker. Oops. If you know the Green you will see that the rapids are edited in order, top to bottom. Please enjoy the video and make sure to thank and support the companies who supported this project: Liquidlogic, Astral, Aquabound, IR, Outdoor Sports Marketing and Shred Ready.

To read the full article about this project go to

They have posted some nice comments from Brian and more facts about the video shoot.

Meanwhile, take a look at some more photos from our work on the river. Photos were taken by Ray Cotton and Abhay Patel.

Filming Brian at Zwick's Back Ender.

Photo taken by Ray Cotton

Meet Mr. Richard Greenhagen, loving his experience down in the narrows.

Photo courtesy Abhay Patel

Mr Greenhagen meets us at the bottom of Scream Machine. He was blown away by the awe-inspiring sights of the gorge and size of the rapids.


Photos courtesy Abhay Patel

Brian ran Go Left & Die perfectly three out of four times. Here was one of the beautiful runs where he lays out on a cross bow stroke as he lines up for the slot. The first shot of that sequence reminds me of a bottom turn in the surf. Absolutely beautiful body position and boat control.





Here Brian flies like a bird off Gorilla.

Photo courtesy Abhay Patel

Click HERE to watch the video.

To read the full article about this project go to


See you out there,

Spencer Cooke, Effort.tv