John Weld is weird when it comes to underwear. You know who John is? He's the guy who owns Immersion Research. He happens to be a good friend of mine. One of my favorite things about the guy is that he is so awkward about things like underwear, sleeping naked, hugging, etc... That is, he is a huge proponent of wearing underwear, he despises sleeping in the nude, and he's not likely to hug you, especially if you're a guy. I think a lot of his mental problems spring from the fact that I slept naked in his sleeping bag one time. Wellllll, maybe that was wrong, but I did it anyway. Really though, he was all freaky about this stuff even before the sleeping bag incident. He's just insecure with the lack of underwearage in the world. I don't know how many conversations I've had with him about sleeping naked. That totally grosses the guy out. And the hugs... oh the hugs. You ever tried to hug or kiss a little kid who is really busy and he kind of squirms when you get a hold of him. That's John. Hugging him is like trying to give a cat a bath. For John's sake let's hope that he never gets into a hypothermic state where I have to rescue him with skin to skin body heat transfer. While we're at it let's hope for my sake that never happens either.
John brandishes IR's latest underwear style via his stunning physique.
Joey Hall is one of my best friends and he is weird too. Though, he goes commando sometimes so I know he has the stomach for awful things like nude sleeping and hugs. The way Joey is related to this story is a little thing called Bathing Suit Day, which is sort of the inspiration and possibly the arch nemesis of Underwear Day. Bathing Suit Day is something I've heard Joey talk about, even documented on video, and I really believe it has happened to him. It's where all your underwear are dirty and you are apparently too lazy (I don't think you're lazy Joey) to do your laundry. Locked in a self-imposed dilemma you are forced to wear your bathing suit or soccer shorts (umbros) as underwear. That's bathing suit day, so you can see how it is the evil twin of Underwear day, right?
So, recently I started going to a chiropractor. It happens that I made it through several visits without having to strip down to my would be underwear (really my naked arse). That time came and I was caught with no underwear, oh lordy. Chiropractor gave me a hospital gown, the kind without an ass part (is there any other kind?). Directly after that appointment I b-lined it to the store and picked up some boxer briefs. Brief refers to the timeframe in which I wear the things. So far I've pulled two Underwear Day shifts in the same pair. Maybe I should go ahead and wash them now.
Happy Underwear Day people! Actually it was yesterday.
Spencer, Effort.tv
3 comments:
First of all, this is John not cody. I am using his login cause I just cant bring myself to sign up for one more web 2.0 anything. Enough already with the web 2.0. Cant we move on to web 3.0 where you don't need a username and password? Or at least 2.5 where I can make something up and the site will accept it?
Anyway. OK. I wear underwear- I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not one for moral relativism, but I feel that if you don't want to wear underwear, that's OK. If you want to have poop infused into your jeans thats your business...until you get into my sleeping bag naked. In that case, it's like a "fecal shake 'n bake". Do you know how hard it is to clean a sleeping bag?
Also, in case your readers mistake you for well-adjusted, you should point out that you stand on my toilet seat when you poo.
That's true. Though I never said I was well adjusted. If I was I probably wouldn't be writing about underwear on here.
Freaking hilarious. And John, maybe you shouldn't poop in your pants.
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