Some things I'm excited about - Oatmeal, Morocco, Donkeys and Zombies

Hi there to my two lovely readers! I have several bits of news on the tip of my tongue and want to share a little of all of it.

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DONKEY is a new kayak/horror video I've been working on for over a year and it's finally complete. Special people like you may have the opportunity to attend the world premiere in Asheville NC this Thursday night, January 31 at 9pm. Not special people, not like you, may see it on DVD. Even more not special people will never see it and that does not hurt my feelings. Please go visit the web site for the video at NightOfTheLivingDonkey.com Otherwise don't go visit any web site at all. You can purchase the DVD via the site. Additionally you can buy the soundtrack straight from iTunes. Ten of the sixteen tracks from the video are available.


Secondly, I am really excited to announce a new album by my good friends, The Oatmeal Conspiracy. "Friends and Family" is out now and available on their myspace page. You can listen to most of the album there and purchase as well.
A quick view of the album cover...

I am a huge hard core and punk rock lover and those genres consume most of my music collection, though I love lots of other indie, 70s & 80s, hip hop, bluegrass and other music types. Oatmeal have described themselves before as a Jazz Pop band and that does cover some of their sound in my opinion, but not all. Here's my best description of The Oatmeal Conspiracy based on this new record. Ready?

If Steely Dan, Beck, Ween, Jamiroquai and Billy Joel made sweet, sweet, romantic, passionate, sweaty love... the kind that hurts the next day, and spawned a three headed, six legged, drumming, keyboarding, saxophone playing, singing child, it would be The Oatmeal Conspiracy's "Friends and Family" album.

Several of my online kayak videos over the past couple years have included songs from this album. These songs were in their metamorphic state at the time but have now reached full maturity on the album. If you have seen any of my Mion sponsored videos this year you will notice the little jingle at the beginning of the video as the intro to the track, Shady Shack. The most apparent song based on my description of the album is the brand new track, Stephen. Check it out on myspace and buy the album if you are so inspired.

Last, I just got back from a two week surf kayaking trip to Morocco and it was fannnnnntastic. If you can come back here and visit in mid to late Feb I'm gonna have a huge journal from the trip with tons of photos and a video highlight of the trip. I think it will be enjoyable.

I wrote in my journal on a daily basis to bring you the hard cold and explicit facts. It will take a while to transpose all of it to the blog.

Joey and I sort of hugged beside this camel.

We sort of hugged again on this beach.

I've never seen so many donkeys in my life. My hair was messier than this one by the end of the trip.

There were waves.

Tom and Nathan saw us off at the airport and began their journey home in the van, back to the UK.


Joey is now hard at work on his new surf kayak film, INTERFERENCE, and will plan on releasing it on DVD later in 2008. It will feature our Moroccan journey as part of its storyline.

One more note. New post at the Drug Free Lifestyle blog by Chris Brigman.
http://drugfreelifestyle.blogspot.com/2008/01/safety.html

Thanks for dropping by and I will hopefully be back to blog again.

Spencer Cooke
Effort.tv

Underwear Day

So, does anyone besides me know about underwear day? I'm not talking about dirty underwear day or clean underwear day. No, underwear day is the one day every month that I am forced, socially, to wear underwear. The way I see it you have two kinds of people in this world - Those who wear underwear and deodorant and those who don't. I happen to fall into the "don't" category and I know there are tons of dirty kayakers who share that title with me. Hey, I hate to use labels but I have to, sorry. Life can't go on without me first writing all of this. So, before I disclose why underwear day is what it is, let me serve you up an anecdote or two.

John Weld is weird when it comes to underwear. You know who John is? He's the guy who owns Immersion Research. He happens to be a good friend of mine. One of my favorite things about the guy is that he is so awkward about things like underwear, sleeping naked, hugging, etc... That is, he is a huge proponent of wearing underwear, he despises sleeping in the nude, and he's not likely to hug you, especially if you're a guy. I think a lot of his mental problems spring from the fact that I slept naked in his sleeping bag one time. Wellllll, maybe that was wrong, but I did it anyway. Really though, he was all freaky about this stuff even before the sleeping bag incident. He's just insecure with the lack of underwearage in the world. I don't know how many conversations I've had with him about sleeping naked. That totally grosses the guy out. And the hugs... oh the hugs. You ever tried to hug or kiss a little kid who is really busy and he kind of squirms when you get a hold of him. That's John. Hugging him is like trying to give a cat a bath. For John's sake let's hope that he never gets into a hypothermic state where I have to rescue him with skin to skin body heat transfer. While we're at it let's hope for my sake that never happens either.

John brandishes IR's latest underwear style via his stunning physique.


Joey Hall is one of my best friends and he is weird too. Though, he goes commando sometimes so I know he has the stomach for awful things like nude sleeping and hugs. The way Joey is related to this story is a little thing called Bathing Suit Day, which is sort of the inspiration and possibly the arch nemesis of Underwear Day. Bathing Suit Day is something I've heard Joey talk about, even documented on video, and I really believe it has happened to him. It's where all your underwear are dirty and you are apparently too lazy (I don't think you're lazy Joey) to do your laundry. Locked in a self-imposed dilemma you are forced to wear your bathing suit or soccer shorts (umbros) as underwear. That's bathing suit day, so you can see how it is the evil twin of Underwear day, right?

So, recently I started going to a chiropractor. It happens that I made it through several visits without having to strip down to my would be underwear (really my naked arse). That time came and I was caught with no underwear, oh lordy. Chiropractor gave me a hospital gown, the kind without an ass part (is there any other kind?). Directly after that appointment I b-lined it to the store and picked up some boxer briefs. Brief refers to the timeframe in which I wear the things. So far I've pulled two Underwear Day shifts in the same pair. Maybe I should go ahead and wash them now.

Happy Underwear Day people! Actually it was yesterday.

Spencer, Effort.tv

A Treasury of Golden Classics

Download Video Formatted for iPod, but will play as a Quicktime video too. Be ready to wait, it's 100mb.
How to save to your computer or import into iTunes or your iPod: On a Mac hold down the control key and click on the link, then choose Download Linked File. On a PC right click on the link, then choose Save Target As.

The footage wasn't exactly classic when the video was put together, but seven years later it's getting closer to the point of being classic. Maybe not golden or even a treasury, but possibly classic.

This is a video I put together in the Fall of 2001 during the "flat day" at the Myrtle Beach contest. All the footage was shot by Stowe and Holly Blankenship "the Weenises," Joey Hall and myself and features all the contests that year plus a few other shots. We made about 100 copies on VHS thanks to Drew Hayes, who at the time was the US Mega distributor. His company was called Mega USA as you'll see the logo on the video.


I was thinking of how Drew almost single handedly brought composite surf boats to the East Coast scene. Seems like almost everyone bought a couple boats from Drew in those first couple years.

There had been a couple Stingrays by Spike and a few other odds and ends before that time but for the most part Mega USA infiltrated the market. Of course, Anthony Bell owned one of every odd surf kayak known to man, somewhere in his garage...

Anthony charging one of the dumpers at Tybee.

Not too long after, PS Composites made a huge wave with the Mako boats and things started changing a bit. Point is, it was a great revolution in the surf market and I think the 2000-2001 timeframe was metamorphic for kayak surfing around the East Coast. The video shows what kind of stuff was being done, or at least attempted at the time as well as how good or bad our conditions here can be.

Dave Stroud threw some really sick stuff that year at the OBX contest. He was a bit ahead of the ball as far as lip moves and dynamic surfing.

All in black, we called him Darth.

Felipe, maybe before he was called Felipe.

Going for the lip at Folly Beach in the Riot Boogie.

Of course, Jud Watkins threw down some of the sickest, controlled surf rides time after time. We miss you Jud! Come back! Jud's father, Bruce was a huge promoter of the sport and grew East coast surfing as much as anyone. These guys are true surfers at heart from Wrightsville Beach, NC.

Jud is the kind of guy who can come off the couch and just rip it up. Hopefully he gets back on the horse at some point.

How can you forget the Stowe Show? Stowe Blankenship, founder of boatertalk surf zone and one of the pioneers of East Coast surf kayaking.

Cutting back at the Tybee Island contest.

The Stingray was my first surf boat. This was a trip Joey and I took to Folly, trying to figure out lippers.


We even enjoyed the company of some Westies in '01. Tom Fredricks and Leo Lekas (sp?) came to the OBX event and placed well.


Joey got his first surf boat this year in addition to showing everyone how much of a jackass he was.

In this scene of the video he talked about his underwear. Classy.

Of course, you can't talk about East coast surf contest without Ross Fulcher. Has he even missed one in the past ten years?

Ross getting under the lip at Fort Fisher, NC.

I know there have been a lot more people that contributed to the growth of our sport over the years. Some have come and gone and some stayed. It has been a real pleasure playing with all you silly geese and learning to surf. Enjoy the video.

Download Video Formatted for iPod, but will play as a Quicktime video too. Be ready to wait, it's 100mb.
How to save to your computer or import into iTunes or your iPod: On a Mac hold down the control key and click on the link, then choose Download Linked File. On a PC right click on the link, then choose Save Target As.

See you in 2008 hopefully! I'm planning on being at OBX for the May contest and some in the fall too. In early Feb Joey and I should be putting up some pics, video and a trip report for a surf travel we're about to do. Wish us luck.

Spencer Cooke, Effort.tv

A McWalBucks Holiday, Yay!

To my two blog readers I preface the following with the knowledge that I have only been kayaking three times since November 3rd (Green Race day). They were three pretty okay days but nothing amazing. That being said, my time has been spent doing some things that I love and enjoy aside from kayaking. In this time of reflection I have not become a poet, though I thought a holiday poem was in line. I'm sorry in advance.

It was the night before Christmas and I had to run out
To Bed Bath and Beyond
(And maybe even Home Depot if we have enough time)
And the critters were stirring around and about
I saw a typical obese, American family sipping on mocha lattes at Starbucks
And a kid coming out of Target with a new copy of World of War Craft
Yes, this lucrative holiday was well on its way
To ending the year for corporate America with a big heehaw and a hooray!
When on the way home I crossed over the highway
And a full moon was rising on the horizon
"It's beautiful," I thought to myself...
How McDonalds and KFC brighten up the foreground
And what to my wondering eyes did appear
But a hodad in the drive-thru choking on a cigarette...
No, wait, it was a quarter pound...er
I've butchered this rhyme scheme in more ways than one
And this holiday was actually a good bit of fun
There was family and food and a couple of presents
And of course a happy meal for some big fat redneck
Whose name was actually Santa... and it was a super sized combo to be correct
Which brings me back to the spirit of Christmas
Which is naturally ham and presents, and profitability, and global warming, and I usually don't forward emails and my schwetty holiday balls and and and and and and....
... Nope, thise whole thing was just a gas pain. Excuse me.

Enjoy the rest of the year,

Spencer, Effort.tv

Night of the Living Donkey

Night of the Living Donkey video world premiere at Asheville Pizza Co. Thursday, January 31 2008. http://nightofthelivingdonkey.com to view the trailer.

Felipe can make almost anyone laugh. This one is a side splitter.

Kite skating looks sweet Philip. Way to take a fall.

On my kayak I have a black sticker with bold white lettering that says DRUG FREE LIFESTYLE. I'm proud of it. My friend Joey made it for me. My athlete bio clearly states my point of view on this matter. I have stated this out of respect for myself, my peers, those I influence, and those I look up to. Recently someone asked me why I chose to say that I'm drug free. They asked I why would promote Drug Free Lifestyle instead of proclaiming vegetarianism, pro-choice for abortion, a political party, punk rock or religion. Here's why...

Thanksgiving Addendum

Regarding my September 3rd post about annoying kayaker sayings, I have something to add:
#7 of annoying things that kayakers say is "Training." Don't get me wrong I think training is a legitimate thing in sports, and in kayaking it's more and more relevant as time goes on. The 2007 Green Race is a perfect example. Training certainly legitimizes and validates our sport as "professional." I would just like to go playboating or out creeking one time without someone referring to what we're doing as "training." Dammit, can't we just go kayaking?

While we're at it how about a #8? As quoted above "Professional" is the term. Everybody knows that too many people call themselves professional kayakers. Shouldn't professional be determined by the fact that this is what you do full time, for a living? Even more annoying is how so many self proclaimed pro paddlers suddenly become pro at whatever else it is they do while kayaking, like photography and video shooting. As far as I can tell the main thing that most "pro" kayakers are pro at is not working and not being nearly as pro as they claim.

Happy Thanksgiving. Make sure and give thanks for all your friends who don't take themselves too seriously when using any of these words in reference to kayaking. Try to relax this weekend. Try not to be too hard core. Head to the beach and enjoy just surfing a wave and going fast. You'll find that it's more like creek paddling than you know.

With a certain level of sincerity,

Spencer Cooke, Effort.tv

History repeats itself, so they say. If you have kids I guess that's even more inevitable. Here's my good Papa Cooke, and myself at almost one year old, circa 1976.


My Dad and his buddy tandem canoe racing on the Nanty in the Southeastern Nationals 1976. Looks like they got a little spun out at Wesser, oops! I'm guessing that's my Mom's finger across the top of the photo... nice 1970s effect, right?

Ween-O-ween 2007

There's something special about Butt-O-Ween. Something's in the air. Is it the green race? Nope. Is it the freshly permed hair donts of the numerous mullett-heads that populate the mountains of Northern Georgia and Eastern Tennessee? I don't think so. Is it that I have gone on a tangent and there's no easy way back to the original story? Nnnnyyyeeeeeeoossss. Or maybe. Well, this time of year is special to me because on the eve of evil, Halloween, my son was born. November 1 is his official birthday, which is Hallow's eve. Nov 1 is the day that marks the beginning and the end for some. For me it is certainly a day that my old life ended and my much better, new life began. This in all sincerity, I'm gonna have to go off the deep end now and say how proud I am of my son Mason Spencer Cooke who has grown, in one year, into a very filled out 11 year old boy named Michael 07. Not sure where the '07 came from but I'm thinking it's kind of like Number 2 in Austin Powers. Michael is my Number 07 man.

Micheal 07 has made us all proud this year or at least for the last week since I found his photo on the floor of the post office. Since then he has graced the dash of fame in my Nissan where he will remain for as long as his photo can bear the harmful UV rays that cruel star, the sun, shines down.

So, happy birthday-ween my son, Michael 07, wherever you are out there.



Goodlater,

Spencer Cooke, Effort.tv

Fall at the coast is one of my favorite times of year.

For the past ten years it is routine for me to make three or four trips to the coast for some surfing. By the end of summer I am usually pretty burnt out on the monotony of sales rep preseason orders and I've normally taken about a jillion runs down the Green River Narrows. All that gets old and I like to take a break and head for the beach. Surf kayaking brings a smile to my face and a feeling of joy to my heart.

Mid September I landed at Wrightsville Beach for the 2nd Annual Gordon Invitational with the fine company of one of my finest paddling and surfing amigos, Felipe. Gordon & Paula Rock and the ESKA once again did an excellent job organizing and running the event. We were not blessed with large surf but it was glassy and offshore most of the day with waist high waves rolling in and an occasional chest high on the good sets. Check out the video for a couple shots I was able to get from the beach and with the waterproof housing.
September Surfing Video
Thanks to Rosanne Fulcher, Joey Hall and Alison Latham for filming on the beach. I think I forgot to credit you guys on the video itself.

Felipe gave me a couple board surfing lessons that were invaluable and finally got me up and surfing down he line of a few waves. Surfing a board is such an awesome compliment to kayak surfing. I wouldn't think of quitting paddle surfing but boarding has made me appreciate waves so much more. I'm a board rider at heart with over 20 years skatebaording and 13 snowboarding. It was inevitable that I would end up on a board.

I came out with an almost clean sweep of this year's Gordon Invitational taking 1st in IC, 1st in K1 and 2nd in HP. Russ Buskirk took his first ever 1st place in HP. He surfed really well in his Reaction and definitely deserved the win. I was stoked to get another top 3 placment in the Charger.

Late September, Shari, Mason and I met our good friends Drew and Eileen Hayes for a week down on Hatteras Island.
Eileen, Drew, Drew's rod... and reel.

Drew kept trying to get Shari to sniff the very tip of his tongue. Reluctantly she took a whif.


Drew holds up the lighthouse and saves us all from being squashed.


I can't think of a better place to be than the OBX during the Fall. The sweet sea air feels so good in your lungs, the temperature is usually very moderate in the Fall, there are fish to be caught and waves to be ridden.


The surf was almost nonexistent all week (a big boo hoo for the Eastern Surf Boarding Championships that was being held that exact week) except for one day a passing weather system kicked up waist-chest high swell. Coupled with a light offshore breeze, this was some of the most excellent surf a wave rider could ask for.

Drew paddles out during one of the larger sets.


There was nothing real large or pushy, just clean, crisp rides and peeling shoulders.

The waves were coming in nonstop in perfectly spaced sets with long periods. Drew and I were a couple of happy campers, let me tell you.
Drew hauls tail down the line.

Me getting a taste of weightlessness.


One too many mosquitos came into the car and were ushered right on out of this life and to the next.

Of course Drew introduced my son to a number of criminal activities.

Drew Hayes is not known for sea kayaking.


Lastly, I want to wish all my friends who are competing in the world championships over in Spain good luck and good skill. The break there looks absolutely sick and I wish I was there. I plan on going to the next worlds for sure wherever that may be. After a four year hiatus I feel like I should give it another shot.

Watch the September Surfing Video

Later,

Spencer Cooke, Effort.tv

How can you not love Yonton?

"Who is that guy on the front row who looks like he just peed his pants and nobody knows but him?" - No doubt an insightful question and statement from the lyrical master, Garrett Bryant.

My all time favorite annoying sayings that kayakers have created, repeated and basically ruined.

Here we go...

1. "Fire it up!" or "He fired it up!" or "You gonna fire it up?" - This phrase was cool in little league baseball when Dad would shout it out. Kayakers have ruined it.

2. "Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh!" - You have to pronounce this one properly for it to be really effective but it is basically said way too much. It is actually really funny but only if it's said with a strongly sarcastic tone.

3. "It's all good" - This one is not just a kayaker saying but kayakers should not say it because they are already saying a bunch of awful stuff. A kayaker saying this just makes it twice as crappy. There are indeed good things out there but it's not "all good," sorry.

4. "Bro" - Now, can you really take anyone seriously who refers to everyone as Bro? This is also a word that is funny if being said sarcastically, unless the people exchanging it are biological brothers. Then it's just true, not funny.

5. "Give her" or "He gave her" or "I'm gonna give her" - This rates right up there with "Fire it up." Can we all not come together as a community and just say, "I ran that rapid" or "I'm gonna run that rapid"? I thought not.

Well, these are five things that annoy me. If I had a sixth it would be:
6. Kayakers naming "Top 10" things, like "Top ten ways to keep from getting a wedgie while kayaking"... no wait, that is pretty good. It would have to be something like "Top ten ways to run waterfalls" We must stop this crazy crackerness and just get on with the kayaking. I don't know if we can. Let's face it, kayakers are not stylish, cool or funny. They are a bunch of people who, and I quote Joey Hall, "in high school were that guy or girl who had the booger hanging out of their nostril or on their tooth, but nobody told them." Everyone just laughed about it and remembered it for the rest of their lives. It's funny that all those people still have boogers hanging out their nose, only they're sitting in a kayak on the water, and now they have nose plugs and a helmet on too. I love all those people.

Anyone using these words or phrases in 1-6 should be given a wedgie. If you are guilty of saying all these things you get a front/back wedgie, mandatory, and a pink belly.

In honor of my top ten bros out there givin' her and firing it up, here's a video from this summer. It's all good, yyyyyyeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

A profound statement by an equally profound person and incredible kayaker -

"...my talent can't be bottled up by some film or some form, it is
an un-reproducable sensation that in order to fully comprehend one
must watch in the live, actual, personal viewing state of living, or
watching."
- Cooper Lambla

Big falls at Secret Spot on the Nolichucky.

If you've been to Secret Spot on the Noli in TN you've probably noticed the Dam upstream and the absolutely sick waterfall/rapid on the river left bank. Since water has been so low this summer Caleb Coaplen and I headed up one day to see what it looks like at low flow. Here are all the photos. We thought it still looked completely crazy though runnable. I'm just not sure if it would be worth the risk of getting caught in that dam. I'm not running it and Caleb said he would not be willing to be present if someone did run it, meaning that he thought it was way too dangerous. The photos are taken at around 500 cfs on the gauge.

Mason rode with me too and said that he would not run this drop. Whew!


Caleb points at the first drop. This one is about 30ish feet.

Here's the landing off the first drop and this little drag strip runout.

After about 30 feet you would start dropping again, ideally driving left. You would not want to be up against the dam.

Here is the beginning of the second drop. This one has to be another 30-40 feet.

Here's a different view from the top where you can see the top of the second drop and the very bottom. The whole thing probably drops 80 feet including both drops.


If anyone ever runs this thing it would be pretty crazy. I think it's doable. I also think much harder looking drops have been run. My concern with this one would be safety. If you got stuck in the dam at the bottom it would be hard getting out or being rescued. I'm not encouraging anyone to run this thing. Just giving my interpretation.