November Turdieth! Actually, today is Black November Turdieth, the biggest shopping day of the year!

Nah, in reality, today is "moron of the year day." I got all your votes and the results are in!
Regis and Kelly's stupid asses won! Congrats to them on being crowned morons.

It was a toss up between them and George Bush but Regis and Kelly have actually said more stupid, superficial, moronic things... so they won. What does this have to do with anything at all? I have no idea. All I know is that those numbnut, a-holes don't deserve their own tv show, and neither does George Bush. Actually Gorge Bush could probably have a pretty funny tv show, like a huntin' or oil drillin' show. Or it could be like a reality show where George Bush travels cross country in an RV with a completely incompatible co-star, like... like... ahhh... It would have to be someone who was of another ethnicity, preferably gay, perhaps Hindu, vegan and female. I'm not sure who that would be but it would be one heck of a good show fo sho. Maybe when they got across country, to Texas of course, George could show her how to drill some erl, real proper like. Then they could go out and celebrate with a steak dinner at Western Sizzlin'. The end.

Next song!

Today's regular programming has been cancelled and will never be shown again.

The real reason I'm writing is this... I have a new Effort Inc T-Shirt for sale featuring Go Left rapid from the Green River Narrows. The words at the top read Paddle Video Photo, which is exatly what is going on in the photo. It's a photo of me filming Brian Miller paddling. Here's what it looks like:

Click Here to visit the Effort.tv web store where you can purchase the shirt.

The T-Shirt design relates the business and workings of Effort Inc and was inspired by the below photo sequence, which has a story, more photos and video to go along with it. That is all in a previous blog post .


Good day,

Spencer Cooke, Effort.tv

November twentyturd - Today is Effort.tv's annual photo issue. Please enjoy some of my favorite photos from the past year.

Click the image below to visit the '05-'06 Photo Annual


Enter The Donkey is to have its Southwestern premiere in Nevada on December 9th.

Hosted by good buddy Colin Kemp, of Jackson Kayak, at the Patagonia distribution center
6-11 PM and it's a pot luck dinner, byob (for infants that means bring your own breast milk)
For questions please contact colin@jacksonkayak.com
Thanks Colin!

NEWS from h2o audio - Two new products: On 12/01 they will start shipping the waterproof housing for the 2nd generation iPod Nano as well as a new, less expensive Nano housing, the Outdoor Series.
Click the logo to visit h2o audio's web site

Here is the all new h2o audio Outdoor Series iPod Nano housing. It very easily fits both the 1st and 2nd generation iPod Nanos. The retail price on this little jewel is $39.95, available at your finer outdoor shopping venues such as Diamond Brand Outdoors, Great Outdoor Provision Company, NOC and more.


Some key points to know about the h2o audio Outdoor Series iPod Nano housing:
1) It is a rugged case that includes belt clip and sport armband for $ 39.99 MSRP
2) Fits BOTH nano models (1st and 2nd gen.)
3) For outdoor enthusiasts who are not necessarily looking to use their iPod in the water, but want to take it into the elements, this is the product for them.
4) The Outdoor Series housing is not meant for in-water use like the h2o audio series, waterproof housings. Instead it is more of a light duty housing, suitable for backpacking, camping, cycling, running or everyday iPod use. We'll call it element resistant rather than waterproof or water resistant.
5) The Outdoor Series housing does have the patented Commander™ Scroll Wheel function, allowing its user to control every function of the iPod from the outside of the case.

6) To install your iPod Nano into the housing simply slide the locking mechanisms on the sides of the case into the upward, open position. Lift the easy to open lid.


7) If using a 1st gen iPod Nano you will lift and remove the plastic shim provided in the case. If using a 2nd gen iPod Nano, which is thinner, leave the plastic shim in place. Then, lay the ipod face up in the case.


8) Then close the case making sure the silicone seal is in place and that it is free of debris. Take a look at the bottom of the housing. You will see two silicone caps, one for the iPod Dock connector or charger and one for a headphone jack.


9) Upon opening these caps you will see that you are unable to allow liquid or debris to make contact with these areas while the iPod is exposed, though the remainder of the iPod is still fully protected. You may connect your charger, dock connector and/or headphone jack.


10) Begin charging and/or listening to your iPod while it is in the Outdoor Series housing. You may close either one of the silicone caps while using the other if you like.


11) The Outdoor Series housing comes with a belt clip allowing the housing to be attached almost anywhere. It also comes with a neoprene, sport armband.


12) The Outdoor Series housing fits nicely to an aftermarket, bicycle, handlebar mount.


As far as paddling goes, I definitely wouldn't paddle with this housing, but I think the Outdoor Series housing has an application for paddlers. That application is hiking. There are plenty of rivers where you have to hike for quite sometime, either to or from the water, where a shock and element resistant housing would be great but you don't really need the waterproof, submersible housing. Here in the Southeast the Linville, Toxaway, Raven Fork, Big Creek and Horsepasture are just a few examples of runs that have hikes long enough to listen to your iPod.
Click the logo to visit h2o audio's web site

Coming on November Turdieth is the Panama Surf Kayak Adventure with Drew Hayes and Ray Cotton. It should be really funny and entertaining.

Happy Turkey Sack,

Spencer Cooke, Effort Inc.

November Turdteenth News - Kayak Action Figures!

Now available from Effort.tv, your favorite rafting action figures from the DVD, "Enter The Donkey"

We are proud to announce our first five of a complete line of action figure toys based on characters from the fictitious love story, "Enter the Donkey." Buy them all now before supplies run out! Your kids will love them. They make great Thanksgiving or St Patrick's Day presents. Each figure even comes with it's own signature model boat.

Characters include:

Caleb Coaplen - Enter The Donkey's most conflicted and complex character. A must have.


Chris Gragtmans - Buy this special edition Gragtmans while our inventory lasts. This character has just run the 50 foot Elk River Falls, and it even surfs gigantic waves!


The Joey Hall figure is a perfect morale booster for kids who get picked on a great deal. A couple days with the Joey figure and you'll automatically absorb the behavior of a male donkey, guaranteed.


FELIPE is spelled in upper case letters to imply the importance of the professional paddler nickname. Get the FELIPE action figure and earn a coupon towards the FELIPE Sit-On-Top action figure, available soon.


Spencer Cooke's action figure makes a popular toilet ornament. Float it right beside your own floater!


Click below to buy your very own Enter The Donkey action figure today.


Enter The Donkey action figure owners will receive a free membership to the ETD fan club. Members will receive exclusive advice from professional paddlers like Heehaw Jones of Enter The Donkey fame. Here's a special tip from Heehaw himself:

"How To Become A Professional Kayaker"
1. Always refer to yourself as a pro kayaker in front of other kayakers. If you own a video or still camera you may automatically qualify as a professional photographer due to your pro kayaking status.
2. Have a business card that titles you as a pro kayaker and whatever else you claim to be professional at.
3. Make sure and have a web site that has your name in the URL. Example: www.HeehawJones.com
4. Make sure to say "keepin' it real" in reference to what you're doing for the sport of kayaking, especially if you're caucasian.
5. Give yourself a nickname or have people call you by your initials. "Yo, what's up KC?" "Just keepin' it real HJ! Did you see the size of that Donkey Choke I just did?"
6. Describe exceptional moves you did in your kayak as "huge," "big," "biggest I've ever seen," "incredible" or "awesome."
7. Refer to yourself in the third person, always, in particular on your web site, internet forums, magazine articles and videos. "KC likes paddling with HJ because HJ respects the skills of KC. Did you see the huge aerial KC just did?"
8. Always train. Pro kayakers don't paddle for fun. If they paddle, regardless of when or where, it's TRAINING. Some pro paddlers go through an entire career without ever competing but you can rest assured that they are fully trained.
9. Have a toy action figure in your likeness.
10. Drink lots of red bull.

Do all this stuff and you might qualify for pro kayaker status. If you fail you should probably quit kayaking.

Learn more about Enter The Donkey and buy the DVD at www.EnterTheDonkey.com"

November Turd News at Effort.tv

My wife and I got a brand new donkey on Nov 1st, Mason Spencer Cooke. We love him very much and hope to take him kayaking one day if he wants to go.


I don't think I'll make it to the Green race tomorrow but I wish all my friends good luck and a good time. See you on the water soon.

Later,

Spencer Cooke, Effort.tv